Points Of Light, life is both good and wonderful right now, you have no idea how much I'm in love with writing this to you right now. I'm learning my first impressions about what is presently happening in my life are not always the best impressions about what's presently happening in my life. I can now happily say that they usually are wrong impressions. This could involve how I perceive what's going on with me when I'm alone and by myself, and most definitely when I'm interacting with people. You see I've had a lifetime to to build a thought life where I've only ever considered very negative possible scenario that could ever happen to me in order to find a way to escape all negative possibilities. So, when I'm thinking that way, I can't trust myself when I'm alone, and in no way can I ever trust anyone I'm in contact with, rather they be family, friend, or casual acquaintance. I mean, I've already figured out every negative scenario, but the possibilities of positive scenarios do not exist within my endless loop thought process of thinking about everything that could ever happen to me. I'm done with that. I need "pauses" in my life. I need to pause before I react. I don't know if that pause has a duration of minutes, hours, days, or even weeks, but I now know I need a pause. I need that pause to take my previous negative thinking out of the equation. I need the pause to give myself the chance I need to be positive. I need the pause to give people outside my own skin the chance they need to get through to me the positive wishes they both want and desire to give me. Points Of Light, there's a lot of light in this truth! In this light you/I can see life with so many colors, find beauty in living life, we can smile, and we can be so very happy! As always - Love and Peace Tod w/ one d
Whenever Ch'amak wandered through this part of the forest, he always did so uneasily. Today he as he moved through this place, he was thinking how Battenburg the green Iguana, Artagnan the Spidermokey, and Bobrov the Giant Beaver all told him how they'd lose themselves as though they were living in a quiet dream whenever they entered this region. They also reported to him how they'd happily lose track of time before they left. But for Ch'amak, well he thought they all must have eaten Angel's Trumpet that had been prepared by P’aqo, the Sloth and only shaman for miles around.
Lost in thought, a little world Ch'amak always retreated to, as usual, he was wandering around in endless loops trying to find all the possible answers to every complex question life would ever throw his way. Being in this state of mind, he barely heard the snap of a nearby twig. Ch'amak left his thoughts just long enough to look toward the noise and saw a Jaguar approaching him. He managed to collect himself just long enough to look away from the Jaguar's menacing eyes only to see five other sets of equally menacing Jaguar eyes looking straight at him. It seemed his heart both came to a complete stop and pound out of his breast at the same time. He gulped as hard as he could. He went back in his mind where he finally realized he had to take a quick step forward, flap his wings as fast as he could and fly as far away from here as he could. He had no idea how high he'd gotten when he felt what must have been the hot breeze of a fierce and powerful swat from a giant paw of one of the Jaguars. Never bothering to look back, Ch'amak flew until it turned dark.
It was weeks before Ch'amak lighted in that place again. As he moved through it this time, as always, he was lost in thought. He had the idea that no matter what was going on around him, in his mind, he could run endless loops of thinking how to escape any predator, be they Jaguar, Anaconda, or Black Caiman. Pausing for a small minute to think properly, Ch'amak began to feel something rapidly running up his right leg and then his left leg. He looked down to find the green kudzu spiraling around and around each leg moving up and gathering around his wings, then moving for his head where the plant only barely managed to leave room for him to see. Using every muscle in his body, Ch'amak valiantly tried escaping the tight embrace of the kudzu that had so quickly encased him. But no matter how hard he tried, the kudzu only seemed to tighten its grip. Tired, Ch'amak gave up his struggle. He finally returned to the world of his thoughts and wondered to himself of so many what-ifs and how this never would have happened, if only one what-if after another. As the sun subsequently began to set, the kudzu began to wilt and lose its grip on Ch'amak. He gathered all his strength for one last push and broke free. He moved past the remains of the plant, turned and looked down on it, got back into his head to run endless loops as to how this all happened as he took a step forward, flapped his wings and flew away.
This was about the time he had met Fuga the Hummingbird. Of those occasions when he'd get the chance to enjoy warm
conversations with Fuga, he found he would be talking to her even while he'd stay lost in his thoughts. This was also when Ch'amak didn't see himself as the most beautifullest and most wonderfullest Macaw there ever was. He'd often be busy in his thoughts running endless loops as to why the most gracious, wonderful, gorgeous, and intelligent Hummingbird he'd ever met would want anything to do with him. But every time they met to talk, she'd make him feel good and comfortable for the most part, but then she'd say something he wouldn't understand, so, he'd get in his head and run endless loops at warp speed as to how the thing she said meant there short-lived friendship had to end. But that was also when Fuga always managed to reach through all his broiling turmoil. She would stop him from running his endless thought loops and make them come to a complete pause. Then in this newfound calm she caused him to feel, Ch'amak finally found the beauty of profound peace. This is when Ca'amak realized he was the fulfillment of the prophecy that said he, Ch'amak was the most beautifullest and the most wonderfullest Macaw ever!
With a new look at his life, a life that didn't require as much time in the world that was inside his head, he returned to the place he, Battenburg, Artagnan, and Bobrov had talked about. As he lighted on a branch and hoped down to walk on the forest floor, he began to hear the most beautiful music he'd ever heard. While he continued moving ever so slowly forward, he heard beetles zoom by very calmly. Ch'amak felt his heart smile. Looking around, it seemed like the Orchids, Heliconia, Cacao, and Passion Flowers all seemed to bloom out of sheer joy just too greet him. An odd smile came across his beak. Life seemed to become slow for Ch'amak, the laziness that permeated the air intoxicated all his senses. As he moved forward, he took a deliberate breath while also taking notice of all the beauty he was able to see. Looking around some more, he saw beavers who were normaly very busy at felling trees, laying still beside them. He began to lose track of time and had no idea how long he'd been wandering around in the calm, lovely beauty of this place. As the walked and looking over to his right, he saw a wonderful patch of Bromeliad Flowers, he laughed out loud to think they were the only things anywhere in this place that might be up to mischief.
Just then Ch'amak heard the familiar buzz of rapidly flapping wings. He looked toward the sound and was ecstatic to see the gracious Fuga light down next to him. She whispered to him to take hold of her wing which he obliged to do as together they sat on the ground and in unison became quieter than any mouse ever imagined. As they looked up at a cloud, the sun shown through it revealing colors of red, blue, green, and yellow. As it serenely and lazily drifted by, it voluntarily moved around to look for them as though a passionflower were opening it's petals up just for them.
As some more unperceptible time passed, Ch'amak and Fuga flew so slowly and leisurely out of that place that they barely managed to stay on top of the air. After a day had passed, Ch'amak, his heart smile, and the grin on his beak found his way to his friends. He told them how he'd lost himself as though he had been living in a quiet dream and that he'd happily lost track of all time while wandering through the place they'd talked about. As he talked to them and noticed he wasn't running an endless loop of scenario's in that place inside his head, he laughed for joy at actually hearing his friends say to him that they had "told him so." In this beautiful world where both he and they were living a life and taking the time to breathe the breaths one needs to live a life, Ch'amak laughed the hardest he'd ever laughed. He laughed so hard and so long that the most beautifullest and the most wonderfullest Macaw ever began to cry tears of sheer joy.
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