There's a feeling here. It's deep, meaningful, and to me, very profound. It wants to reach out to someone, to communicate with that someone, and yet it can't. This feeling has many sides - happy, sad, excited, restrained and yet uncurbed. I would normally call out my feeling in order to shame it so that I could make myself a horrible person for having this feeling.
I want to cry, for some reason. At the same time, I want this feeling to go away. This feeling is confusing, but I think it just has to live and survive, it has to just be and just exist. This is hard because I have to figure everything out, I have to know a thing's in and out, it's up and down, it's sideways, and everything else left to know about it. Nothing, I think, can ever be allowed to "just be." I want to do something with this feeling. I want to take it out, dissect it, examine it, then I want its elimination.
This feeling is uncomfortable as hell in it's just being. I'll not betray its origin, but there's that. Suffice it to say, its origin meant I was living a life, moving forward, and a collision occurred. It was a no-fault collision. It was a collision that just happens when people are busy living a life. Life is neither simple - nor is it simply understood. The interesting thing is how my feeling occurred just when I'd previously decided it was time I unleash some emotion, some feelings. Now, there's this feeling emerging.
I'm not going to suppress it (no matter how desperately I want it to go away). I'm not going to judge that it's good or bad. I'm just going to let it be.
More to come.
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